Not Everyone Wants To Help The Homeless

By Adrian Miles

I’m going to assume that most of the people who read this blog already have a heart for the homeless plight and the suffering of others and if not hopefully after reading a few posts you will.
But the truth is a lot of people don’t think like you and this weekend whilst I was in London this was shown to me.
I was getting of the train at Moorgate tube station and saw a man leaning against the wall and he was crying.
I walked past him with a companion and I knew that if I were to walk past and ignore him I would be a hypocrite.
So I turned back and asked him if he was okay and he said no. He was begging and tired of being told to piss off and treated like scum. I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
So I asked him if he was hungry he said yes I was going to buy him a meal but was short on time so I gave him a £5 note.
He was touched and asked my name then I gave him a hug and he shook the hand of my friend.
The whole time my friend was quiet. They said nothing and I told them I know you’re upset but it’s something I have to do and I know what it feels like to have no one on your side.
They said to me ” it’s nothing about the money but let me take you down this road and you could give £2 to a 100 of them and all will happen is they will get drunk and you will have no money.”

This person knows about my blog and read a few posts and they are a great person but how do you relate with people when their opinions are so different from yours.

How do you handle this in your life?

Oldies But Goodies

http://twitter.com/iliveinmycar Will

I struggle with this constantly. My go-to is to buy them a meal, but as you mentioned, what if you’re short on time? If you know you’re most likely contributing to an addiction, is it still okay to give someone a few dollars? Just last night I was approached by someone very obviously in the throes of withdrawal. I declined to give them money, but I gave them a handful of cigarettes, asked their name and shook their hand. I regretted it later, but I still don’t know if I should have given them money or not. I think I’m just going to start carrying packaged/canned food everywhere I go, for these corner cases.
http://www.directis.ca Susan Low

I simply shrug and say something like “it’s my prerogative to show compassion when I can.”

It’s not always possible or practical for me to give money to people asking for change, but if I closed my eyes every time I saw suffering, I’d be walking blind. In fact I don’t often give money, but I do look people in the eye and treat them with dignity. I don’t know their story, I don’t know why they’re there in that situation, but I know that each human being deserves to be treated with respect and compassion.
http://www.theallareequal.com Chris

Be the same don’t change because of your friend or don’t change your friend’s actions, he has to learn it by himself. What you did is a big lesson enough, hopefully he will learn soon to be compassionate. Today I didn’t have a dollar to give had to borrow from a friend to give it to a homeless person. He said he will use it to drink alcohol, don’t give him plus he looks healthy he can find a job. I told him what if he is an Army vet just returned from Iraq with a PTSD and unable to work and we don’t exactly know why he is there. Then my friend agreed with me.
http://slohomeless.wordpress.com - michael -

“it’s nothing about the money but let me take you down this road and you could give £2 to a 100 of them and all will happen is they will get drunk and you will have no money.”

HG,

You friend might concievably be correct about some homeless using whatever $$$ for drugs/alcohol. Their statement, however, was an assumption that all of them would.

Although I don’t have unlimited funds, I personally give $$$ to a number of homeless in my community – yes, even to those whom I know have an addiction disorder or substance abuse issue. That being said, I have also been pleasantly surprised when several days later, they come up to me – wearing shoes or clothing that they purchased with the $$$ I gave them – and thanking me for the money.

At the end of the day, the only one you are accountable to for your actions is yourself – regardless of what others may say or think.
http://www.thehomelessgirl.com homelessgirl

Michael absolutely true about being accountable to yourself only but it is hard when the people you care about have no interest in your passion
http://www.thehomelessgirl.com homelessgirl

Chris thanks for the encouragement I have been trying to demonstrate to them how to be compassionate and hopefully after this post they will read it and gain a bit more knowledge
http://www.abeoudshoorn.com/blog Abe Oudshoorn

I get this question a lot from my students, and realize I have about 30 seconds to capture them before they write me off as a liberal softie. So, I say, “I feel that my ethical/moral responsibility is to be compassionate, it is the person who receives the money’s ethical/moral responsibility to decide how to use it. We need to stop worrying about the actions of others and think our own actions.

The long version is to go into the research that shows the value of homeless persons experiencing a positive human connection, and having an income.
http://dazedlittlemiss.wordpress.com Dazedlittlemiss

This is usually a very complicated issue, and I can understand the argument that you’ll just be wasting your money e.t.c, but I feel helping out there and then in a way does reduce some of the suffering, for luck of a word. I mean at least for that moment in time, he wont go hungry. And Chris makes a very good point.
http://www.hverdagssiven.blogg.no Siven

That is a true dilemma!
I’m born and raised in Norway… My parents have told me to never give money to people on the streets, and until I was 14 and began to travel to Oslo on shopping on my own, I followed that “rule”.
But I was met by people asking for money all around, even though the truth was that they had a sign like the one in your picture in their hands. So I began to take people with me, buying them food, coffee, etc. Some people said “no thanks, just give me money instead”, that’s when I say “no, if you’re really hungry I’ll be happy to buy you some food, but if I give you money you might as well get drunk or buy drogs, etc for them”. If people get angry then I take it as a sign of the fact that they are addicted to something and aren’t really in need for money-food, but money-drogs.
Now adays is it harder! There are many “gypsies”coming to Norway and begging for money in here to make a living. They dress as homeless people and ain’t really in need for the money. That makes me so angry and sad, cause I want to help people, but there’s just so much I can do.

I lived a year in Preston, UK, when I was 17 and I had one homeless I talked to more or less every day in town. Every now and then we bought something to eat at Subway etc. I wish I could have done that more often, but I didn’t have the money
I remember him crying when I went to visit him one last time before I went back home to Norway… I made a joke about that he would have to find someone else to buy him food now, but that wasn’t his mane concern. He said he would miss having me around as a friend, cause it was so nice to have someone who cared and didn’t behave like if he was a bug. I most admit that was one of the most “touchy” moments in my life. To know that he was more happy with my company than my money and food made a lot to me!

You take care
xxXxx Siv in Noway.
http://www.hverdagssiven.blogg.no Siven

Btw, that picture made me miss him a lot! He always had his dog with him, and whatever cash he got was used to give the dog food first <3
Me

And here’s my question.
Most of the homeless people who are on the streets are drug addicts and they use money for buying drugs. Most of you say that you’ll buy them food but rather not to give them cash cause they’ll spend it on drugs. Being addicted is much serious that just “getting high”. Getting high might be the reason of starting it but ehenba persons addicted their body NEEDS the drug in order to work properly. In this point what is the difference between the food and the drug for them ?! They’ll suffer if they don’t recieve both of them. And as we see the addictions suffer is much harder than the hunger, cause it’s about the nervous system instead of digestive one, and that’s why they rather to buy drugs instead of coffee. If the point is to help a person who is in need, why not giving the money to buy drugs ?

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